Feel The Burn

Ouch.

Saturday I took the kids to Cannon Beach, and ended up with a nasty sunburn. The question I have for myself is, why don't I ever learn? Time and again, I go to the beach, and come home redder than when I set out. You'd think, after all these years, I'd catch on to the fact that I might want to douse myself liberally with sunscreen, and yet, even when I do, I still seem to end up burned.

Oh, well. We had fun, and in a couple of days this will fade to a tan.

I told the kids today, while driving them to MA's house, that Crystal is moving back up here shortly. And then dropped the bomb that she is planning on moving in with me. Danielle was nonplussed. "OK," she said, with a shrug of her shoulders, a non-reaction that made me want to hug her right then and there. I guess with all she's been through in her young life - we divorced when she was only 6, after all - change is the one thing constant for her, and she has adapted well. Jason, on the other hand, took the news a little harder. "Wouldn't this have been better if she had gotten to know us first, and then moved in, while living up here?" he asked. To which I replied, of course. There is no doubt that had our relationship been a conventional one, there would have been a natural progression leading up to this. I feel bad that the kids barely got to know her before she left...and I'd be lying if I said I didn't have some qualms about this whole thing. But despite all we've been through, I do love her still (obviously, or I wouldn't have put up with her indecisive flakiness for so long), and I know that neither of us is getting any younger: if we're serious about having a baby, then we're at the point where it's time to take action. As it is, I'll be 41 at the youngest, well past my self-imposed deadline for having another kid. So, sure, we could go through the motions of having her move up here, get to know the kids again, "date" for awhile, and then consider the next step. But we've been "together" for two and a half years now (though that's a very loose "together"). I think we've talked about the future to death, and it's time to take that plunge. Major adjustment for all of us? Without a doubt. The path to true happiness? Hopefully. A new adventure in all our lives? That much is certain.

Jason was worried about where everybody is going to sit, and told me that they're probably going to be "quiet" for months because they'll be shy around her. Little does the boy know that a little quiet sounds heavenly to dad. Ha. I do sympathize with him, though. But as I told Jason, I've been on my own for a couple of years now, and being single basically sucks. Mama has had somebody in her life the whole time. Me, I've been stuck with a promise, and nothing more. I'm ready to turn it all into reality now. It's time to take the next step, to move forward instead of being stuck in first gear spinning my wheels aimlessly.

Your love makes me smile, she texted this morning. Sweet words, and they made me smile. It's that kind of sentiment that makes me confident that we'll work out, after all.

We haven't talked about exact dates, but I know her work is expecting her back the first week of September. So, this could turn out to be my last week of complete freedom ever. I'd better make it count.